Can Guys And Girls Really Be “Just Friends”?

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This is a topic that I am constantly turning over in my head. Is it possible for a man and a woman to have a strictly platonic friendship? I find it a very interesting question because so many people have so many different perspectives on the situation.

I for one sincerely believe that yes, it is possible. In all honesty I have two maybe three girlfriends in my life that I consider my good friends, all the rest are guys. My whole life I’ve just gravitated more toward male friendships and no I do not have a Cassandra Complex, my dad and I have the best relationship. I’m not starved for male attention in any way. I just prefer the company of men. I have more in common with them; get along better…the whole spiel.

My closest friends are guys. Always have been. Usually it’s a relationship where I know I can trust them wholeheartedly. I feel a lot more comfortable around guys, like I can be myself and not have girls whispering behind my back about what I’m wearing or the way I carry myself. I like to live as stress free a life as I possibly can and perhaps that’s why I prefer the company of men. They don’t bring along the baggage and drama that girls tend to.

Being in this situation, I’ve had quite a few raised eyebrows. Mostly people arguing with me that there is no way that men and women can be “just friends.” I’ve heard it from girls, I’ve heard it from guys.

Billy Crystal’s famous lines in “When Harry Met Sally” resound in my head. “Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” I mean, really? Is this true? Surely, not. I’m pretty dead set on the fact that I don’t see my guy friends in that manner (with the exception of a few) and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. I feel like they see me as a sister.

And if there are those sorts of feelings, is the friendship a scam? I’m really bothered by the thought of that. I mean if they are only around because they are thinking, “maybe someday I’ll get in her pants,” does that mean the friendship is a fraud?

I will admit though that the start of a friendship between males and females usually starts from an attraction of some sort felt by one if not both of the people. I mean, guys don’t just walk up to girls they don’t find attractive and think to themselves, “Wow, this girl looks like she would be a really great friend to me,” and vice versa (although I do think girls more likely to do this because I certainly have.)

If by chance you do happen to fall for one of your friends what’s there to do?

I mean we’ve all been there at one point or another. Do you tell them? Ha! Certainly not, right? I mean what happens if things goes sour? You’re down and out one perfectly good friendship and a piece of you is lost. But what’s worse? Wondering what could have been, suffering an unrequited love or going for the gold and either face planting, potentially ruining the friendship you had or things magically working out but for who knows how long, and then what? Of course Tennyson would go with the later, having said “It’s better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.” And I definitely agree with him but walking the walk is a whole lot harder than it sounds.

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3 Responses

  1. I really think that boys and girls can be just friends.This is depending only on the attitude you adopt at the beginning of the friendship realation…..if there is no atraction between them than they can be just friends….

  2. Good post. I can relate to your thoughts, so much of it actually. I prefer male friends to female friends too. I think, that if, right from the start of the friendship, you have no attraction whatsoever, then the friendship could be plainly platonic all throughout your lives. But if there’s even a tiny spark of attraction, it surfaces every now and then, and there would be instances where the sexual tension could get in the way. In conclusion, I guess it’s a case to case basis!

  3. Actually, I’d say from personal experience that you should tell him. Tell him the friendship is more important than the romance to you and you absolutely don’t want to screw it up, period, but you’ve totally fallen for him so you’d like to give it a shot if he’s willing. Said in a relaxed manner if possible!

    With one woman, I told her I had a tremendous crush on her, she told me she wasn’t interested, I said I was cool with that, and the friendship got significantly more relaxed.

    Seriously, talking is good. If your friendship is solid, you can weather anything up to and including a failed attempt at dating, which is probably the worst case scenario.

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